Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Toxic

Well, I suppose it was inevitable.  Having listened to SH No. 1 coughing so hard I thought he was going to lose a lung over the last four weeks, I now have a heavy head cold.  Is there anything worse than having a foggy head, a runny nose, blocked ears, a nagging cough and an aching body?  As you can probably tell, and as my children and husband will attest to, I don't have the most sympathetic bedside manner!  Although I did nurse my Dad through cancer with absolutely tireless care and love, a cold/cough is rather different and all you can do is try and 'ride it through', as Hubby's doctor told him.  When I get sick, I'm annoyed at my body more than anything else and just want to be left alone to ride it through!

So it is with my flu-ridden body that tomorrow morning I must enrol in my new courses for next semester already.  Should I continue with the three subjects that stressed me out so much last semester?  Or should I stick with doing two, but still feel as if my main duties are in the home rather than anywhere else? Somehow I managed to achieve two Distinctions and a High Distinction last semester, even though I was so stressed I've given myself a mystery skin condition!!! 

Going into 2nd year, I've also had to seriously think about exactly what I want to do with this Degree.  I'm majoring in Writing and Literature but as I've posted before, I often think about teaching and lately every time I set foot in the public library, I leave thinking that's what I should be doing.  This morning I did more research on a Teacher-Librarianship.  The only way for me to achieve this is to complete this degree then complete a Graduate Diploma of Education - but wait, there's more! - THEN do a Masters!!!  If I continue taking my time to finish this degree, hopefully I'll be 50 by the time I become a Teacher-Librarian.

Making the subject selection harder for next semester is the fact that the two literature courses I want to do don't start until about four in the afternoon. Which shouldn't be a problem because, after all, I do have a 15 and 16 year old - seniors, who are more than capable of looking after themselves and their little brother.  I just have ride through that nagging mother's guilt!

4 comments:

  1. I feel for you, Caz. I think these decisions are so much more difficult at our age; we just don't have as much time to start over if we change our minds about our course of study. Plus all the other obligations, it's not just about school for us. And remember, we are both Libras :) It seems to make decisions even harder!

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  2. Thanks Brandywine! So true - there are many other factors in a mature-aged student's life! And yes, it's even harder for a Libran to make decisions!!

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  3. I learned a very valuable lesson in my Humanistic Psychology Seminar about regrets. I will simply tell you what I learned and hope you take interest in it and it helps you decide what to do next semester.

    There are two kinds of regret. One occurs when the "judge" inside of you tells you that you did something wrong. You failed in some way because you did or didn't do something that the "judge" thought you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT have done. This type of regret is experienced as guilt most often.

    The other type of regret is a more real regret. It comes from your real self. It is experienced when you didn't do something that you felt you wanted to do in order to make you happy, in order to make you whole.

    Think about your options. Which one comes from your judge and which one comes from YOU?

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  4. Nicki - you're so right. For too long I have been listeing to the 'judge' instead of my real self. It's great advice which I have taken on board. My real self tells me to take my time and only do what I feel comfortable with and that's what I'm going to do. You'll be a great psychologist!!

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